The pickup line has changed considerably since Victorian times. “Please may I sit on this fence and watch you go by?” or “I shall risk the valor of all men to simply look into your eyes,” likely won’t cut it in the modern dating world.
And though most women don’t respond well to straight up honesty like, “I find you attractive enough to bump and grind on for the night, and my penis needs somewhere to land. How about it?” There are indeed pick-up lines that can start a conversation with a woman. There are others that may even land you a coveted position in between her 1000-thread count sheets. There are a time and a place to use a pickup line, though, and certainly an art to choosing the right one.
Casanova and Don Juan earned their reputations honestly. Not only were these men masters at conjuring cupid’s arrows, but they also knew how to approach unfamiliar women to get to know them very intimately. Taking cues from these romance-conjuring adepts, let’s look at how you can use a good pickup line to land the woman of your dreams – or at least the woman across the bar that looks good for the night.
The Biggest Mistakes Men Make
It may seem counterintuitive in a world replete with Internet porn, overtly sexualized ads in slick magazines, and luxury car commercials accompanied by barely-clad women, but the first mistake men make is opening with a purely sexual pickup line.
Women of consenting age are already aware that any man with a set of XY chromosomes would like to nail her. They simply don’t want to be reminded of it. Your ability to produce sperm and your evolutionary desire to spread your seed as far and wide as it will travel is implicit. You don’t need to lead with sexual innuendo or crude sexual jokes to get a woman’s attention, and it likely won’t elicit the type of attention you desire. Instead of a phone number on a napkin, you’re likely to need a ton of them to wipe up the drink she throws in your face.
This cautionary tale is told, there are an appropriate time and place for the purely sexual pickup line. We’ll talk more about that in a moment.
Another mistake men make is to undervalue humor. We’ll talk about some great, funny pick-up lines momentarily, but you should understand why they work so well.
Overtly sexual pickup lines used at an inappropriate time will creep a woman out. They will make her feel like a hunted animal, not a fragile flower. Sexual pickup lines used too soon indicate that all you want is to get something from her – sex. A humorous pickup line offers her a gift – laughter. It’s the get vs. gives scenario, and women instinctively know when you’re offering something or trying to take whatever you can get.
Another thing to note is that a woman’s sexual arousal is very different from a man’s. She will become aroused at the subtle suggestion of anything sexual. Heterosexual men are usually purely visually stimulated, but she is taking in the way you smell, the way you smile, the way you carry yourself, and even little things she can pick up about your station in life or your character. This all-inclusive arousal pattern in women is thought to be an evolutionary adaptation – and without being aware of it, your pickups lines will fall flat.
Men also undervalue the power of pickup lines which showcase his kindness, wealth, or stability – other highly coveted qualities that women seek in their possible mates.
So, let’s get right to it, and look at some of the best pick up lines that can be very successful for meeting women, and taking your relationship to the next level.
Funniest Pickup Lines: When to Use Humor
Humor is almost always appropriate. If you can use humor in a way that builds a bridge of commonality between you and the person you are trying to cozy up to, even better. Here are some funny pick up lines:
- Are you a camera? Because every time I look into the lens of your eyes, I feel compelled to smile.
- Are you religious? Because you’re an answer to my biggest prayers!
- Is your father a baker? Cause he made some nice buns!
- I don’t have a library card. You mind if I check you out?
- You look so cold. Want to use me as your blanket? I can warm you up fast.
(Notice the sexuality in the last three is not overt, but wrapped in humor.)
These good pickup lines are non-offensive and funny, and she’ll have a hard time not smiling when she hears them if she doesn’t laugh outright.
Other great and clever pick up lines for guys are just straight up funny, like these:
- Check it out – I’m very heterosexual, but I’m feeling like a snowflake. Why do you ask? I’m falling for you.
- I need to confess something. I’m a thief, here to steal your heart.
- You’re looking kind of under the weather. You need some more Vitamin ME.
- Tonight, this Han isn’t feeling like flying Solo. Wanna join me?
When to Use a Cheesy Pick Up Lines
Cheese pick up lines and funny pick up lines are like cousins. When a cheesy pick up line is just so cheesy you can’t stand it, it’s also going to make a girl laugh. You make her smile, and you’re already half way to getting her digits.
Why? Because laughter ignites the feel-good hormones and endorphins that make her relax and feel good. This positive hormonal cascade also aids in social bonding. Translation – laughing makes her want to get to know you better.
Don’t be afraid to be foolish and use a cheese pick up lines. The trick is to deliver it as if you KNOW its cheesey pick up line. You’re trying to inject a little levity into the situation! Try one of these cheezy pick up lines:
- Do I know you? You look a lot like my next girlfriend.
- I’m curious what you do for a living – I mean besides being crazy sexy.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around the block and come up to you a second time?
- I’m sorry were you talking to me? [no] In that case you’d better start.
- If the earth had no gravity, I’d still fall for you.
- Did you know that you can burn 5 calories per minute kissing and even more doing other stuff? How about we go outside and you can skip your spinning class tomorrow.
Why Corny Pick Up Lines Still Work
Corny pick up lines work for the same reason chessy pick up lines do. Scientific studies even prove it. Women prefer cheesy, corny, metaphorical, witty pickup lines more than appearance-based or possession-based pickup lines. Men’s dating success is in fact, directly correlated to their creativity.
You can try a good pick up lines like these:
- Are you a magician? Because I can’t see anything but you – everything else has disappeared.
- I bet your mamma is a drug dealer because you’re just dope.
- Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
You get the idea. She may roll her eyes at the sheer corniness of your line, but she’ll probably smile or laugh, too, and you can continue to chat her up.
Best Romantic, Sweet and Cute Pickup Lines Ever
Women also respond well to sincerity. She doesn’t want to be romanced by a knuckle-dragging buffoon, as Leopold pointed out in Kate and Leopold, the wildly romantic flick that most women love. Romantic, sweet or endearing compliments – said from the heart, and not as if you’ve read them out of a pickup playbook will work the best.
If you’ve made a mistake and used the wrong pick up line you can also offer a sincere apology – another thing that women respond positively to. After saying something stupid, you can tell her sweet pick up line like this, “I’m so sorry. Really. I just find you incredibly beautiful and you make me nervous. I’m not sure what to say.” You’d be surprised what she will say in response.
Try a few of these romantic, sincere and cute pick up lines, or be creative, and make one up in the moment as you feel inspired to:
- Hand her a rose and say, “I just wanted to show this rose how gorgeous you are.”
- Those big, pouty lips are ridiculous. Are those real?
- I’ve never seen legs so long. And eyes so blue. I’m getting confused where I should look.
- I saw you on the street outside, and I just wanted to carry you across the threshold.
- The way you move your hands when you talk is so endearing. Can I watch you talk some more?
- I’ve never seen a woman put together so well. Your style is quintessentially perfect. Damn!
- Of all the women I’ve ever laid eyes on, I’ve decided I can’t to take them off you.
- You are the reason that even a player has to fall in love some time.
- If I could hold your hand one time, it would feel like forever, but if I can hold your hand forever, I’d likely die on the spot.
Sexy Pickup Lines: When to Use a Dirty Pick Up Lines
Dirty pick up lines are usually the first line of offense men use, but they should be the last. That doesn’t mean that they can’t be absolutely brilliant for making a warm encounter even hotter.
If a woman is already responding well to your more subtle pickup lines and showing body language that she is interested in you sexually (preening her hair, tossing her head, making eye-contact, touching herself or you, gently biting or sucking her lips, exposing her wrists, moving her hips, crossing and uncrossing her legs to draw attention to them, or even moving closer to you in proximity) then it might be time to use a more overt pickup line to seal the deal.
Depending on how many sings of attraction she is displaying you can go all out! Try these dirty and sexy pickup lines:
- I know Moses parted the Red Sea, but I can make you wetter than all the oceans put together.
- I may not go down in the history books, but I’m happy to go down on you.
- If you were a washing machine, I’d have to put my dirty load inside you.
- Girl, you’re some good organic fertilizer, you just made me grow six inches.
- We should play strip poker. You strip and I’ll poke you.
Pickup Lines for Girls
It isn’t just men who can use pickup lines on women. We live in times of sexual equality. A woman can use a pickup line just as easy to show a man he’s interested in him sexually, or just wants to get to know him better.
Guys usually don’t expect it, so it can be endearing, and even a novel experience for a man to get “picked up” by a woman. Thank God we’ve moved past the 1950s!
A good pickup line for girls may sound something like, “you’re making me melt like an ice-cream cone is summer,” or “Damn, honey, you’re so fine, I might have to skip foreplay.” She can also try, “I couldn’t help but notice that your biceps are about as big as my thighs,” or, “Your eyes are eerily familiar. I’m getting lost in them.” A very direct approach might be, “You should buy me a drink so we can get the conventional dating ritual over with. I have other things on my mind.”
Men will usually respond better to overt sexuality, especially if a woman has noticed he was already checking her out. Men will also respond well to humor, flattery, and sincerity though, because, unlike popular culture would suggest, men and women, are not from different planets. We’re all human, with a need to connect with the opposite sex (or the same).
Pickup line shows someone that you’re interested in making a connection, so it truly doesn’t matter what you say as long as you say something. Social connections can even reduce your risk of mortality by 50%, so you can even incorporate that in your next pickup line: “Hey baby, we should talk because if we don’t we’ll die sooner.”
Whatever pick up line you choose, wield it with confidence, and with unapologetic zeal. You’re sure to find success.
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